


When All Else Fades, There You'll Be

by CalamityJane



Category: Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic
Genre: Drama & Romance, M/M, Opposites Attract
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-14
Updated: 2017-09-08
Packaged: 2018-10-17 16:18:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10597668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CalamityJane/pseuds/CalamityJane
Summary: After the world has gone back as it should be, Aladdin tries to convert Judar away from his unhealthy tenancies and violent habits into becoming one of his friends... but they both end up over their heads when it becomes more than simple friendship.A series of roleplay threads turned into a Juala/Alaju fanfiction with some change in formatting, mostly in the form of oneshots within the same canon universe.  I edited the format and RPed the Judar while my wonderful girlfriend/best friend Rachel RPed the Aladdin.  On tumblr we're twistedblacksun and the4thmagi.[Ratings and tags may change in the future]





	1. Chapter 1

To be fair, Judar had seen this coming… though not so suddenly and drastically.  How was he to know he’d miss three solid years of his life and come back to the world and the people he knew being so different and grown up?  Especially _him._

It’s annoying how it’s exciting and disappointing to see Aladdin so strong now, someone on his level and not in the desperate way he’d been last time to throw him out of orbit when it'd been the only way to win.  No, this time he was a real challenge… maybe _too_ much of one.

He wants to be mad at the runt for the brilliant tactic to let himself get ahead of Judar by banishing him to the Dark Continent while he learned all sorts of new magic and mastered the forbidden strength type used by his father in Alma Torran… but that sort of power has never been something the fallen magi can scorn even if he’s fairly certain that if he put all his energy into using the medium like last time he fought, he’d _still_ probably lose to Aladdin.  He was just way too strong now, able to take down the world’s strongest magi and immortal witch of Al-Thamen with one finger.

It’s easier to notice him too.  Of course the previous time he met, he was interested in the chibi but now that he was actually growing into himself and now far more than the brat who hadn’t known a word of magic in Balbadd.  He hated thinking about it but a part of him _owed_ the younger magi for Solomon’s wisdom at that time as well, breaking him free from the lies he lived within a world Gyokuen had trapped him in.

Yes everyone had grown up but no one had quite as much as Aladdin… no, they weren’t even close. 

Another thing that fascinated him was the fact they were polar opposites in most respects: Aladdin took enjoyment from helping others while Judar liked teasing them for his own amusement.  Aladdin was warm and open while Judar was cold and closed off.  No one could irritate him and challenge him like he could… no one was quite as predictable yet hard to read at the same time.

When everything went back to normal, Judar wasn’t surprised to see the hand of friendship extended his way and sneered at the offer: as if he was planning on being just another tally on the list of infinite friendships the other magi frequently worked on.  Even if he couldn’t deny his interest, it didn’t mean he planned on becoming just another one of the thousand friends he collected.  Judar thought he was better than that, and turned him away every time.

Their conversation had started out innocent as another rejection was close at hand… but then Aladdin pushed the wrong button by commenting on his rukh and speaking about how he’d turned out.

“What the fuck…”  He’s glaring now, amusement void from his voice as he seethed at that _pitying_ look.  Even when he found out how he’d been taken and forced to fall, he didn’t feel sorry for himself or ever want anyone to dare look down on him no matter who they were.  He was done with regret or wishing he lived a different life which made him all the more infuriated when he was looked down at for it.

The oncoming rain didn’t even feel cold on his skin anymore, and the darkness matched the cloudiness of his withering stare.  No, someone like Aladdin _couldn’t_ understand him… he was always being so _self-righteous._

“ _Fuck you._   Don’t say sorry to me, I’m trying to piss you off, don’t you get that!?  I don’t give a damn about ‘solving’ like you do.  I don’t care if hate doesn’t get me anywhere... you’re always spouting worthless wisdom and playing peacekeeper which is exactly why _I can’t stand you!!_ ”  He spat with venom.  “I don’t want or need your help.  Why does everyone have to be your friend huh?!  Well I’m not just going to fall for your bullshit speeches like everyone else.  Sorry you can’t just win me over like you’ve done for all the others and I don’t have any plans of joining them on the _shelf_ , got it?   You’re full of it; spouting off crap about ‘the world you love’ makes me wonder if you even give damn from your pedestal.”

Judar saw no reason to just stand here and take his lectures, so with an irritated exhale he turns around with the intent to give up and leave.  “I’m done with the life lessons, so go push your agenda and friendship propaganda somewhere else and see how many you can collect.”

Aladdin froze at that word: _Collect._

The very utterance drips with malice and leaves a bitter taste on his tongue. Was this truly what Judar thought he was doing? Roaming the world, collecting friends to display as trophies? Using people for the sole purpose of bettering this so called friendship collection? The idea is so far-fetched he can’t even begin to wrap his head around it. Never in his entire life had he ever thought about comparing people to something so low and disregarded, let alone a friend.

He was accusing of him not caring - of him thinking nothing more than to use the very people that supported and cared for him. And Aladdin would not stand for this.

Anger rises from the ashes of his offer. A cold, unforgiving feeling that he hates more than anything. It’s so void of warmth, so icy to the touch it leaves his whole body numb. All those attempts at keeping a level head, of rising above this whole ordeal were thrown out and in its place came an assault of words he’s not sure he’s even able to contain.

As Judar walks away, a single finger raises with such little effort, you’d think he was merely pointing. Gravity magic had become a specialty of his, and while he wouldn’t condone such behavior in any other situation, he’ll use it to completely halt Judar’s feet from moving another inch. There would be no leaving this conversation no matter how hard he tried. Not until what he needed to say had been made clear.

Judar is appalled when his feet stop moving, feeling the rukh shift around him under foreign influence that sparks his anger again.  Did he just use magic to _keep him there_ …?  And thought he could get away with it?!  Oh this pipsqueak was in for some serious shit now… at least he _thought_ he was until he hears Aladdin continue speak.

“You think I _collect_ friends?” The tones of his voice is nothing but a infuriated whisper at first, showing just how flabbergasted he was about this whole idea. The vibrancy does not come fast, nor does the rise of volume. Instead it’s left completely dull, almost drained at first. “How could you even think such a thing. Do you hold people so low in your mind to think they want nothing more than to make you into some trophy to be won over?”

The moment his head snaps up, the very nature of his mood became abundantly clear. He was beyond upset, and had no intentions of calming down.

“If you think for a second that I try to make friends to start some collection to brag about, then you’re _wrong!_ People aren’t inanimate objects you can use to make yourself feel more interesting or more powerful. They’re human beings with hearts and desires. With dreams, ambitions and personalities! I don’t make friends so I can abuse their trust and say I’m loved. I make them because I want to, because making people happy and smile is the only thing I have _ever_  wanted to do in life!! To hear you even think about me that way is the most insulting and hurtful thing anyone has ever said to me, and I won’t allow you to have that mindset anymore!”

Judar’s shocked into not releasing the gravity magic of his own accord or even breathing when he hears Aladdin’s livid words that escalates even further in intensity and virtually stuns the older magi in a way he’s never experienced. 

Aladdin's hands move with anger as each step closer is accompanied by the loud sound of thunder breaking through the sky. Like a flash of light in the darkness, it brings a comparison worthy of poems to the magi’s actions. Both hands go to grasp a hold of his shoulder’s, turning him around to face the wrath he’d brought upon himself. “Do you think so lowly of me that that’s what I would do to my friends? To the people I love and care about? _Answer me_ , Judar!!”

He listens, not because he necessarily _wants_ to but because he has to figure out why the hell of all the awful things he’s said did God’s precious son finally lose his picture-perfect temper.  There’s almost a temptation to grin with the adrenaline rush, pleased to invoke a response but he’s just too fucking _surprised_ by it. 

Judar’s voice is low at first, strangely calm for… well, him.  He wants to fight about the points, saying that yes, he doesn’t care about the people of the world and never has but something holds him back.  “Maybe you don’t do it _on purpose_ , but… why else do you always keep trying with someone who can hardly stand you, that you’re not supposed to get along with?”  Clearly himself.

It’s annoying because normal people find others they agree with and others they don’t.  They aren’t idiotic enough to keep pursuing the ones they can’t find much common ground with, so is it really that much of a stretch for him to think Aladdin is just trying to befriend him for some weird need to be perfectly happy with everyone?  Judar’s eyes narrow, coming out of his paralysis to give a solid shove to the other magi’s chest to release his grip on his shoulders with the rain dripping down his form.

“Shut the fuck up about your friends, I know they all adore you like you do them.  I don’t care about that and I only have to give a damn when you try to make me one of them.  Don’t you get it that I’m not the sort of person you’ll ‘guide’ or even really be able to care about?!  Or even worse, you’re just being friendly to keep me from starting more wars, is that it?!  Good tactic…” He shakes his head, “We get it, you’re a saint.  But _I’m not_.  So stop trying.”

Aladdin is baffled by this response… how blind could one man be? Had his chaotic nature kept him so far from happiness to even imagine he’d want to be his friend just to hold a friendship; to see Judar happy and well, to support and help him become a better person. That was the very definition of being a friend, and it’s becoming more and more obvious that this wasn’t a part of the other’s vocabulary.

To not know what true friendship felt like….what it meant…What a lonely life Judar must lead.

Every crease in his forehead, every harden feature softens at the thought. Loneliness was something he knew all too well, something that had been the majority of his life in the Sacred Palace. But it’d changed with Ugo, it’d changed with Alibaba and Morgiana. If there had been hope for a child locked away in the depths of a hidden fortress, then there was certainly hope for a torn magi.

A simple word could hold such meaning, such presence in the right situation. “ _No._ ”

Giving up on Judar wasn’t an option. He wouldn’t allow himself to even think of such things, let alone actually do them. If anyone deserved to feel the warmth spread through their face at the touch of a friend, or know the feeling of arms wrapped around them in comfort with their sadness, it was Judar.

“No matter how many times you tell me to stop, I won’t. I’m not doing this to stop you, or to say I’d finally conquered the hardest man to befriend. That means absolutely _nothing_ to me,” The entire thought hadn’t even occurred to him when this determination for a friendship had started.

Aladdin had thought nothing more than of Judar’s happiness and of giving someone he could come to instead of wreaking havoc like he did. He wanted nothing more than to be a pillar of support for the other magi. Not to guide, but to reinforce, to help him become a better man and make better choices in his life. “All I’ve ever wanted is to help you become a better person; to get rid of that hatred and chaos that’s consumed you for so long and bring happiness.  So stop being so stubborn and accept the fact that I’m never going to stop trying to see you happy!!”

Judar scoffs, answering almost immediately, “Then I’ll _make_ you.” 

He wasn’t sure if this was actual hate but it _felt_ like it, a burning heat that scorched his mind and the desire to rid himself of these righteous antics.  Rid himself of this unfamiliar feeling and the constant preaching Aladdin just wouldn’t cease that caused his temple to throb painfully. 

This wasn’t the first time he’d felt this way, as his stance widened and pointed staff pointed at the other with the black rukh fluttering around it in anticipation.  Here in the windy thunderstorm, he’d settle this; not being able to imagine a more fitting time.  Getting rid of him… might be a shame because he enjoyed the challenge he offered but anything to destroy this guilt and jealousy and the only way he knew how was putting an end to the cause. 

The other magi could speak all day about his _kind_ and _generous_ intentions but it only made Judar more infuriated with his idiocy and naïve thinking that he needed help getting where he wanted to be.  Help finding that place where he wouldn’t feel the need to stop the itching in his blood that always taunted him to quell his boredom in the most violent of ways sometimes.  Aladdin didn’t understand; he didn’t want his help... that would only make him _weaker._

“I hate how you talk so I’m done listening to it.  Now you’re going to give me a real challenge and fight me now or I _swear_ you’ll regret it.” 

If Aladdin turned him away with some peaceful bullshit, he’d go off on his own and take out his anger on weaker targets… obviously the other wouldn’t be stupid enough to let that happen, and he knew Judar was willing and capable of it. 

Aladdin thought he should have expected this. Judar wasn’t one to be swayed or moved with simple words. He could recite his intentions and prove his determination a hundred times, but it’d mean nothing to the older of the two. No, he had been designed for war, for the rush a good fight would give, and even if Aladdin knew there had to be more to him that this, he could not deny it.

After all, a boy taken from their home, raised in chaos and bathed in depravity could not be touched so easily.

It doesn’t stop the dread from coming to Aladdin’s face when he realizes he has to fight him. He’d seen just what Judar was capable of, and should he refuse, innocent lives may very well be at stake. At least here, among the dark clouds and raging storm, they’d be able to fight in peace. No worries of unnecessary death’s, no civilians getting in the way - just two magi in a rematch of the century.

But…would this even be _fair?_ Aladdin had grown nearly untouchable in the past three years and gained more power than he’d ever thought imaginable. Training with the Mother Dragon had provided him the chances to not only master this world’s magic, but Alma Torran’s as well. He’d surpassed both of his parents in their prime, but yet only resorted to using any of his power when he felt the world was in danger.

In any case, he needed to respond, and soon. The last thing he was going to allow was a repeat of Balbadd. If Judar wanted a fight, then he’d give it to him. He’d wear him down, break his spirit and make him realize that this was a nothing more than a fruitless attempt to avoid acceptance. And who knew, maybe this was what he needed all along. It’s clear as day just how much pent up frustration and anger resides within the other magi, so maybe letting it out physically would tear a hole in that gap.

“I don’t want to fight you,” But he was going to have to.  The palms of his hands slide against the wood of his staff, holding onto it as tightly as he could. If this was how it was going to be, then so be it. He’d do what needed to be done just as he always had, even if the guilt of doing so afterwords would eat away at him. Where Judar’s stance is wide and seeps excitement, Aladdin’s is calm and closed off. He doesn’t need much to bend the railings, nor cast a borg. If Judar was going to strike, he’d make himself an easy target in order to divert his magic much more easily.

“But I _won't_  let you hurt anyone else.”

“Oh you’re just soooo _self-sacrificing_ ….”  Judar laughed, disgusted by the way he always put things; so arrogantly like he had to fix everything and shoulder every burden, “Sorry it’s such an _inconvenience_ to you and your pretty little world you love so dearly to be dealing with me!”

Fuck him.  Fuck him fuck him _fuck him_ for still trying to control him.  It made the fallen magi sick how it was always about ‘not letting him hurt anyone’ and exactly those sort of words that made the revelation of trying to trust Aladdin completely impossible.  In his book, there’s only so many things you can care about before everyone else gets sloppy-seconds; that was human nature and Judar knew that the other magi didn’t have any real connection to him.  It was all pity and an effort to keep him _contained_ , and he would resist that or die trying.

He rose into the air, black rukh buzzing angrily around him as his staff pointed downwards like a god looking to smite the earth.  That was where he belonged, not under Sinbad’s control or Gyokuen or Aladdin.  He’d been free to choose his own destiny, and Judar would resist being dragged down into it or anyone else’s.  _Never again._

“Thalg Al-Salos!” 

And spears of ice rained down upon the ground where the other stood to test the waters, seeing if the peace-loving twerp would actually put up a half decent fight. 

A chill in the air raises the hairs on the younger magi's arms, and even before the crystals form, Aladdin knew the attack. Ever since their first meeting in Balbadd, Judar had favored this type of magic - an icy comparison to his own specialty. Fire and ice could sing songs together for ages, yet the warmth would always win. No matter how cold, how big, or how stubborn ice became, the smallest flicker of fire would melt its edges. In a way, it fits the two of them so well, both in personality and views.

It’s hardly the time to get wrapped up in comparisons, and Aladdin’s eyebrows knit inwards. The very atmosphere around them was in Judar’s favor, and this barrage would only strengthen with each drop it gains. He watches as the rukh is pulled from the rain itself, shaping and pulling together to form each spear. Memories of Balbadd rush; a frightened child with no understanding but the desperate desire to save his friends, watching as his guardian relentlessly attacked and pulverized the magi…and then his inevitable death. The attack is similar, but the boy is not.

No, he’s prepared. He’s stronger, and Judar _doesn’t stand a chance._

He breaths in deep as the spears hit against his borg with a strangely satisfying sound. A quick glance to the left and right of the golden shield yields a massive amount of ice that was already starting to melt in the warm rain. Aladdin glances up at the other, the frown on his lips clear as day. Just because he’d agreed to this reluctantly, didn’t mean he’d have to use anything aggressive. Though both of their supply of magoi was endless, he’d grow tired of each and every attack being useless against his borg, and then even more tired when they’re diverted.

He’s far calmer than he should be as a vibe of arrogance flows with his voice.  How many times has he spoken this name.. how many didn’t tones had he used…Anger, frustration, happiness…Aladdin’s lost count, but the feeling it gives when it rolls off the tip of his tongue is always. the same.

“Judar. Please, _stop._ ”

“How much of a wimp do you have to be just standing around?  You think that’s going to prove anything?  That you’re so superior you don’t even have to do anything?!  Fuck you, That’s why I _hate_ you.” Judar visibly shook in anger, unrelenting in the thunder magic that was as black as his rukh. 

“I told you to fight me, you fucking pipsqueak!!   Ramz Al-Salos!”  He shouted his next spell, black lightning flashing throughout the sky that would destroy everything within a mile’s radius, hurling at the other impossibly fast and deadly.

He had better throw something at him… if he just stood there like that Judar would completely lose it.  If this is how they would be fighting… he’d give more than his all _to win no matter what._

_Fight me or I can’t move on.  I can’t deal with any other way._

Fuck, he suppressed the thoughts a quickly as they came, masked with more anger at the holier than thou attitude the other magi was giving him.

The flash of light catches in Aladdin's eyes the moment the command is given. Brilliantly black and deadly, it shines in the dark hues of Aladdin’s pupils before they narrow in. The ice spears, is borg could handle, but he’s sure this would at least crack the sphere, if not shatter it completely. There would be no choice in the matter, and just before the tip of the lightning hits him, a finger raises.

“Dhoruf Sabaha.” With each motion he gives his hand, the lightning follows until finally it’d been redirected back into the sky. If this was how Judar wanted to play, then Aladdin would allow it. Each and every time he’d try, the same thing would happen. Over, and over and over again until he got tired of it.

No matter what he’d throw at him, it’d get countered until the other magi had _nothing left._

Judar on the other hand, almost smiles to see that Aladdin has finally perfected the technique he used in their last fight although the use of it is just as disappointing as he expected.  Redirection… it was so _typical._

Aladdin gives him a look of pity, quickly followed by a plead to stop this. “Refusing to use defensive moves doesn’t make me a wimp, just like using offensive against me doesn’t make you superior.  Don’t you see it, Judar?!  No matter what you cast or what you throw at me, I’ll counter it and make it impossible for you to get to me. So just _stop_ before you get hurt!! I don’t care if you hate me, I don’t care if you say that a thousand times, you’re still my friend and I don’t want to see this happen to you!”

Instead of being calmed down by his words, Judar thinks wouldn’t mind _reliving_ their last battle since he’d probably say it was the most fun he’d ever had including his time with Hakuryuu and murdering Gyokuen.  His rukh awakened his third eye, evolving his spells to the next level by using the medium and the souls of those driven into despair in Magnostadt.

“You think I _care_ if I get hurt?  If I die?”  He laughed, thinking that it was even more hilarious that the other magi could even think the fallen would care whether Aladdin was hurt by this either.  “I just have my _fun_ until I reach that point.”

To prove that, he charged at him with the black lightning of his staff blazing and gravity magic maxed out for when he collided with Aladdin’s borg to slice right through it, and with any luck, force the beloved son of god’s hand to actually use an offensive spell.

Aladdin doesn’t remember him being this fast, or perhaps it’s simply underestimating him. The moment he comes close enough to touch his borg, he hardly had time to throw up the hand and mutter the command. “Dhoruf Medon!”

There, about a foot away from the lining of his shield Judar’s staff was halting. Using this again Arba had proven relatively easy, but with as much power as the rukh were sending into the other magi, Aladdin felt his grip slipping with each second. There’s no denying that Judar held immense power - anyone could see that - but it was how he _used_ it that bothered him the most. Offensive magic was something he’d chosen not to use in a long time, and for good reason. He’d been given this great power, just as Judar had, but he would not use it to harm.

Enough force had been given that Aladdin’s foot had begun to indent the soggy ground below him, the water trapped beneath the soil sliding through his toes and making everything so much harder to hold onto.

“You might not care, but I do! Don’t be so selfish as to not see that!” Stubborn, stubborn man, why couldn’t things be more simple between them? The possibilities and adventures they could have together were endless, yet Judar chose to ignore his wishes for friendship completely. He couldn’t hold him any longer, but with any luck, he’d be able to at least dodge the attack.

The older magi is irritated to be stopped short, force of his gravity magic pushing against Aladdin’s with all the magoi he could muster with the black lightning sparking at his staff angrily, itching to get a hit in.

Unfortunately, he got his wish.

When Aladdin’s hand falls, it gives him the chance to sidestep the brunt of the staff. It becomes abundantly clear that he wasn’t able to avoid it all though, as the warmth of a fresh cut on his side seeps through his cold clothing.

As he clears the swipe, Judar was about to gloat as obviously all of the pity that had been spared for him out of arrogance had gone to waste but he flinches, thinking he’d made a mistake getting in too close and was about to go up in flames from a counter attack but is met with something different.

Aladdin chooses to pay no mind to his injury and instead uses the closeness they’d gained in order to grasp a hold of Judar’s face.

If he wouldn’t listen to him, then Aladdin would _make him._

Instead of being attacked in turn like you’re supposed to when you’re fighting, the warmth of hands on his cheeks are completely foreign to Judar, met with those deep blue eyes begging him to stop.  The eyes of the one person he’s always hated that he begrudgingly respected and hoped to keep on him… the one he’d _never_ found boring or disappointing. 

Aladdin is tired of the fighting, of the attitudes and hatred between them.  If this was what it took to get Judar to see how serious he was about their friendship then he would. With each move he takes, the more crimson stains and Aladdin can’t tell if the wound is serious or not. His eyes are focused onto Judar’s and Judar’s alone, as he purses his lips into a deep frown.

“I don’t care if you don’t care, _I do_. They’ve taken everything away from you but I’m here to tell you that doesn’t define who you are!”  Fingers scrunch against the cold, wet skin of his face as Aladdin takes a deep breath.

Trust is something he’s known ever since birth, trust is something he takes very seriously, and he’s going to trust in Judar to understand what hes trying to say. Slowly he pulls his forehead to his, letting the thick and sweaty skin touch in a simple gesture. “Your hatred is not who you are. They can’t tell you who to be anymore - no one can. So let go of it and move on. Become the person you were meant to be; the person you _want_ to be.”

Judar’s form shivers unconsciously, close proximity of something so in depth make his instincts scream to get back and escape this… escape talking about the things he tries so hard to avoid. 

Aladdin is way too close and his concentration fails him, bare feet slipping on the muddy ground when he tries to step back; instead falling forward into him and catching himself on his hands and knees though the other magi isn’t so lucky.

The moment Aladdin’s back touched the ground, a shooting pain echoed from his side. It causes his lips to press into a fine line, the creases of his forehead giving away just how much discomfort he was in. A hiss falls from between them, but it completely disregarded the moment blue locks onto red. Even through the mud and rain, he can make out every emotion that plays on Judar’s expression. Every curve, every line of agony written so clearly drives pins and needles into Aladdin’s chest.

Judar stares down, seeing the other just as surprised as he was but the shock doesn’t last too long as the fallen finally speaks, face twisting in frustration.

“I _can’t_ … fuck, I know you want to change me… make me into some shitty saint like you try to be but I fucking _can’t_ okay?!  I’m only good to you if I’m different… what if this is who I am?  What if I can’t be all the goddamn good you _think_ you see?!”  He almost screams, right fist raised and suddenly slammed down a few inches short of Aladdin’s head.

Aladdin’s gaze falters, and he almost flinches when the mud from the punch flicks onto his skin. There’s a brief pause between them, a chance to let Judar grief and Aladdin to think.

Judar bites his lip, his hands on either side are clenched shut and all the emotions he desperately wanted to hide are all too clear as he stares down from above him.  “I’m so fucking sick of people trying to _fix_ and _change me_ the way they want me to be… I can’t deal with that from _you too._ ”

Seeing Judar’s reaction, Aladdin feels overwhelming regret.

All he’d ever wanted was to help Judar become a better person; for him to take his hand and lead him onto a brighter and happier path. It’d never occurred to him that this was exactly what everyone else had done to him. No matter what mask he wore, or how he’d worded it, the same principle remained. He was no different than the others.

He’d never be able to accept war, nor the chaos that the other magi had spilled from the very moment they’d met, but if that was who Judar was, then he should at least acknowledge it. And who knew, perhaps in time and with a kindled friendship, it’d die down. Maybe Aladdin could get the chance to meet a _softer side_ of Judar.

“…” At first, he isn’t sure just what to do. He was literally pinned between mud and anger and couldn’t find an escape. And honestly? Aladdin didn’t want to.

There, written on the fallen magi’s face was everything he needed to toss the idea of leaving this situation away. The way his head hung, the intensity of his eyes piercing his - it all lead him to one conclusion.

The rain hitting the back of Judar’s head rolled off his face, not to be mistaken for something _warmer_ since it was Judar after all.  That was probably the most emotional depth anyone could get from him; only voicing the sad things in his mind when no one was around to hear it or realize how it affected him. 

Aladdin’s  hesitant at first, unsure of if he can even do this with the sticking wound on his side, but with a little bit of effort arms reach up and wrap around the back of Judar’s neck. The cold cloth of his scarf greets the side of his face as it nuzzles into the nook of his neck.

The fallen magi wasn’t even thinking any more like a wave of exhaustion in every sense of the word overcame him when the touch comes.  The other was stupid… knowing what Judar was, something poisonous and sharp to the touch, someone unable to help but hurt the people around him.  Yet that never stopped Aladdin from reaching out for him even when every time he did he paid a price.

His red eyes clouded and almost closed, numbing him in an unfamiliar way when Aladdin pulls himself at him with the same effect as a cool breeze on an unforgiving summer day. 

“Judar…” Aladdin speaks, the scent of blood and dirt filling his lungs and mixing with a hint of peaches and…was that lilac? In its own sense, it’s intoxicating, but that’s hardly what’s on his mind.  

“I’m not going to try to change you…I never wanted that. You are who you are, and that person is incredible in his own way. But the path you take, and your actions are so _destructive_ I’m worried you’ll completely lose who you want to be in the process.” The grip of the embrace tightens as Aladdin nuzzles his face into the wet scarf that hung over his shoulders. “You have good in you, I just know it…so please, let me _help_ you. You don’t need to be fixed or even changed but you do need a _friend_.”

With one hand of Judar keeps his balance, the other clutched at the back of the teen that held onto him with a slow gentleness he didn’t even know he was capable of.  There was something desperate in the action; in fact it’s not even good enough as he pulls Aladdin up further with his own back hunched over just slightly from the strain of holding onto him with both hands now, without actually sitting on him. 

Just like he should be, the fellow magi is far too _warm_ for his own good even soaked to the bone, and when he himself was accustomed to dreading the touch of another, associating it with the patronizing manipulative touch of Gyokuen, this was… contact that didn’t hold any toxic intent and wasn’t one he ever felt like he’d deserve. 

It’s weak and needy, everything Judar avoids and ridicules but he doesn’t do it because he feels like he _needs_ this and him… not yet, instead he holds tight and shakes his head just a bit, stubborn voice refusing to let him say sorry.  Apologize for all the times he’d tried to hurt him and succeeded, hated him, and resisted him: the only one who kept _trying_ no matter how hard he pushed him away. 

He doesn’t say anything and probably won’t but he hopes Aladdin gets it.  For the first time, his anger feels far away… and he’s back. 

Aladdin hadn't imagined that acceptance would feel so blissful. All these years of fighting, of turmoil between the two of them seemed to melt away and in its place the warmth of friendship began to take shape. It was up to them now to mold it and form something worthy, and Aladdin would undoubtedly accept it with open arms. This was what he’d been working towards for years; to be closer to Judar, to be able to completely dissolve the word _enemy_ in favor of friend. 

Each second he spends in the embrace will be remembered. It brings warmth, a light of new among the clouded darkness, and one that could touch him in ways he didn’t know possible. Judar’s actions say more than any words could ever bear, and through them Aladdin gains understanding. A desperate, almost clinging attitude had given him the chance to breath new life into something of old. He’d finally accepted what needed to be accepted, and done so graciously.

No death, no more fighting. Just…the light, enjoyable feeling of gaining something you’ve worked so hard to do.

Judar, on the other hand, couldn’t make promises for the future or even if he’d be _able_ to be different but at least this was a start.  Would he be capable of changing or keep himself from falling back into his ways?  No, Judar suspected his anger would return just like it always did… eating at him like a parasite that shown clearly to anyone who could see his rukh.  That much about him hadn’t changed.

Destiny was still his enemy even if _Aladdin_ wasn’t.

Aladdin’s own arms go to tighten the hug for a moment, letting the soaked clothing wring against his forearm before Aladdin can find his mind drifting. That wound so carelessly ripping open the side of his torso is starting to irritate, and no matter how much he tries to focus on the sweet scent pressed against his nose, he can’t help his eyes from drifting.  He was strong yes. Years and years of training had made him who he is, had given him the power to protect and serve the people of the world he loved. But he was only _human._

When his hands lose their tension, it’s all falls from there. The rough feeling of eyelashes forcing themselves over clothing is the last of the feelings he’ll receive, and instead he lets his thoughts take over. He can rest, he’s done what he’d set out to do for years. This ridiculous rivalry between them was finally over, and now? He could rest without worry.

There’s a soft sigh from him when his shoulders fold, and Aladdin trusts Judar enough to not let him fall into the mud. And although his wound was getting the better of him, the thought of letting himself succumb to it wasn’t even crossing his mind. _No_ , he wouldn’t die here, but he could rest.

As his head dips, he let’s out breathy words. “I…I think we should probably _go_ now…”

That worry is put into the back of his mind as the weak sentence is spoken by the younger, strangely pathetic for someone so long-winded and self-righteous as he tended to be.  Judar’s eyes snap open, loosening his hold and staring down.  That’s when he sees it… how had he missed that?

 _Blood:_ dark as his eyes and being saturated by the rain he hadn’t been shielding with his body.

“Fuck… _Fuck_..!!”  He curses, heart racing when he jolts out of his thoughts and closes the gap between their torso’s again with the wounded magi’s chin resting on his shoulder while Judar hobbled back indoors.

For this alone was showing him something Aladdin had never seen. Each word, each movement spilled care and worry for someone other than his own person. Not only had he made a break through with their friendship, but now he was showing selflessness? What a treat.

It’s a shame his body has completely retreated into itself, allowing him the rest he’d needed for months now.

They had fought this close to the palace after all, Judar didn’t even need to fly.  If he had time to think about it, he probably would have been annoyed their battlefield had been so tidy despite throwing quite a few devastating spells though there was a few ice shards as tall as a building stuck in the ground around where Aladdin had been standing.  He wasn’t even thinking clearly enough to grab his staff and get them back faster but with the adrenaline rush it hardly even took a minute. 

The fallen practically yelled for the servants, panicking for really anyone but fortunately Ka Koubun heard the frantic magi and had been on his way to the Empress’ side.  Seeing Aladdin’s state, he demanded doctors to come to the scene as quickly as possible and pulled out his fan, Vinea’s household vessel, and began closing the wound.  It was rather effective from the looks of it, knowing first hand that very vessel had kept him from the brink of death once before.

From the moment Aladdin let himself relax, everything became hazy. He remembers a slur of curses, the strange feeling of wet cloth placed against the bare skin of his neck, a breath of desperation that seemed so out of place he finds it hard to even come from Judar.

The aching pain of a wound plays in the forefront of his mind - inch movement bringing a stinging, blinding pain that makes the magi wince - but he doesn’t let the urgency in Judar’s voice, the stress in his tone, nor the way he’s all but flung onto the nearest flat surface ( which, he noted, would be a grievance to give him later. ) It’s so memorable, so exciting, a thin smile spreads across his weary face.

There’s familiar voices all around him, but Aladdin doesn’t pry his eyes open to see a face. He doesn’t need to, not with the suddenly refreshing feeling of water flushing out and healing his wound. 

It’s when Ka Koubun gets deep into his work and the other servants arrive to carry Aladdin to a bed and the medical staff that Judar looks down and stares at the drops of blood and water dripping into the wood floor.  He’s _paralyzed_ , stricken by the fact he thought he _wanted_ this... wanted the other’s blood to drench him and make him feel alive and powerful. 

But just like every other time… it’s never satisfactory.  He can’t move, can’t speak… trapped in shame and self-contempt and knowing he never had any right to that feeling just moments earlier.  He would always be a _monster._

The fallen magi quickly leaves the scene, unable to stay there a second longer.  His body stiffened as he pictured it; the hounding question from Ka Koubun how on earth had Aladdin suffered such a blow so close to the palace, so far away from any _enemies_.  It made his chest tighten and throat dry out, black rukh fluttering around him in a nervous wreck he wasn’t used to.

It’s then that Aladdin notices a lack of presence. It’s a common occurrence for the rukh to flutter, the sound of the specific colors so distinct and unique, he doesn’t even need to see them to know. He’s grown so accustom to their voices, to the very atmosphere they summoned, he could easily depict who was in the room.

The high pitched sounds of white were all he heard, loud and clear around Aladdin. No doubt swarming him and helping aid in the healing process. But where was the low hum of the black? He’d thought Judar would have been here, but perhaps that was all just wishful thinking. Shouts of rest are drowned out when he moves to sit up, a soft gasp in pain passing his lips in doing so. “J..Judar…”

“Where’s…Judar?”

Now miles away by flying there on his staff, Judar tries to think of the purpose… _why_ had he started fighting…?  Why was he always fighting whenever he couldn’t get his way or make them understand?! 

That’s how it always was with white rukh: with destiny.  It calmly told him who he was supposed to be and what he should do while he tried his damnest to fight it or just run.  Fate was like Aladdin sometimes… it even gave him the same guilt and expectations despite the warmth and attempts to accept him but there was no way he’d actually take him for who he was.  Maybe they could _never_ coexist and just fight till the end of time.

That’s when he imagined Aladdin’s wound… what he’d caused… that maybe he had turned out to be the thing he came to hate the most: that damn woman who had changed his fate.  The one who kept him from being free and made him to be this way…

His blood turned cold at the thought, anger and hurt pulsing through him with the urge to tear something apart.  He wouldn’t let it destroy him or let himself be shattered by guilt.  If this was who he was meant to be, then he’d solve it _on his own._

Judar had taken his staff and left, not looking back for Hakuryuu or Kougyoku… He was what Gyokuen had made him, an enemy of fate that was well and truly _alone._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two magi run into each other once more and Judar pretends their previous interaction never happened, once again getting annoyed with Aladdin's self-righteous attitude before calling him an 'extra magi.'

“Why would you say that?”  Aladdin frowned.

 “Would you rather I called you how you _act?_  Basically _god_ of the world?  The ultimate magi?  Maybe you’d find that a more fitting title with how much you meddle and preach.” Judar scoffed, unwilling to back down.

 “……I do what I do to make the world a better place, _not_ because I want to become god. You should know that by now.”

 “I dunno, aren’t you busted?  The secret of your _holy origins_ and being the literal _son of god_ of this world have been revealed?  It’s all just gone to your head and you’re looking down on us?  Butting in on other magi’s territory because you’re more _worthy?_ “

“…..My home and who my father was has nothing to do with what I’m trying to do. I never said I was more worthy. _You’re_ the one trying to hold me up and make me out to be a saint. Why can’t you see us as _equals_ , Judar?”  He never insisted on flaunting the fact that Solomon as the mediator of the rukh had been his biological father.

It wasn’t as if the fallen magi liked seeing him upon that pedestal, but his self-rightous antics were too numerous for him to ignore, and he’d persist in expressing this to see if he could make Aladdin upset.

“You say that but haven’t you just always been _right?_ Haven’t you always fought for the best purposes and everyone is just so thankful to have you among them… Because you think you’d do better than me or anyone?  Face it, how you are now… you don’t see us as equals in the slightest.  You don’t see _anyone_ as your equal and you fucking know it.”

“ …I…” Aladdin's stunned as he tried to reason with this, more affected by it than he wanted to be, “…You sound…like _Arba_ with King Solomon…”

With that comment Judar was shocked before being utterly _infuriated._

“Shut the fuck up and don’t compare me to that _bitch_.” He hisses, impulsively reaching out and grabbing at the other and shoving them forward into the nearest wall.  She’d ruined his life, manipulated him since he was born… had he ever done that to a child to use them and bend them to his whims?

“—!!!” There’s hardly any time to react before Aladdin’s back hits against the stone behind him, knocking the breath out of his lungs entirely. He’s seen Judar angry, countless times. But never had Aladdin seen this expression. He doesn’t even know what to say, or how to even react, but as eyes search his face, the fog slowly lifts.

“I’m _not_ her, I’ll never be her, and I don’t give a fuck about her shitty holy war or devotion to some 'God'…”  He leaned in as he’s still holding tight, eyes swimming in rage, “ _Fuck God_ , fuck fate, and fuck _you_ for looking down on me with that self-righteous bullshit,”

 “…I…I’m sorry,” Aladdin let his eyes flutter shut, refusing to look at him any more as his head droops. “…It was…I was _wrong_ to compare her to you. But…” There, through the thick of his bangs, azure eyes open, but his head does not move. In its place his hand is brought up to the cloth that hung around Judar’s chest, a lazy grasp but as much an attempt to grasp a hold of this situation as anything. “…Is that _really_ how I’ve become?…”

“What the fuck do _you_ think?!  How fun is it to always be _loved_ … always be _right?!!_ ”  The fallen magi stiffened, voice faltering but he’s not going to let Aladdin look away as the hand that clutched at his collar in fury shifts to his chin and raises it to match his gaze, “Even if it’s not… _always_.”  He admits reluctantly. 

In all honesty, Aladdin had expected his hands to be cold - to mimic his magic specialty, and deprive him of warmth. Never had he thought it’d be the exact opposite. For when that hand reaches up and touches his chin, he feels the heat radiating from it on his skin, the very nature of a living being presenting itself and for the first time in a long time, he’s uncomfortable with it.

“But you _do_ act that way and it pisses me off and makes me feel like I’m reaching for something slowly drifting away, so fucking listen to me when I tell you this.  Don’t insist you’re being humble all the time when you’re damn well _not_ ; like you can bend anyone to your whims who doesn’t fit your ideals.  Own up to it or I’ll drag you back down to earth by your braid if I have to.” Judar frowned.

The look he’s given, Judar’s words, the sheer fact that he’s close enough to him to feel his own breath bounce off of his skin, it leaves him with a desperate need to flee that’s so uncommon so….unlike Aladdin, he’s shocked.

If he was truly acting like this, he has no doubt Judar would have been the one to drag him back down. Though Alibaba kept him level headed and reminded him that he was only human, it’s the man before him that would bring him back down to Earth. He can’t help but avert his gaze as he speaks, the embarrassment of the whole situation bringing a slight rosy tint to his cheeks. “…A-Alright…”

Judar’s kind of dumbstruck for a second… not even aware the other could feel anything beyond his annoyingly giddy happiness and the anger of an protective mother.  He frowns… not sure how he feels about this.  It’s not one of his default emotions either; anger or the urge to tease and irritate.  The younger keeps glancing away when shyness isn’t even in his nature and it drives Judar to act on impulse. 

And so he leans in just a bit further and kisses him long and hard, only pulling away after a good few seconds…

Aladdin had not been expecting that… or intending on it, and yet… it wasn’t half bad?  The feeling of warm lips invading his own is so foreign, Aladdin doesn’t even know what to do. And by the time he does (which, happens to be several minutes after Judar breaks the kiss ) it’s far too late. What was even happening? Was the world coming to an end? First, he’s upset with him, then he’s yelling at him over his own stupidity and now he’s kissing him? How confusing could one guy get??

Judar grins, “You’re actually pretty cute when you’re not telling me what to do, chibi.”

One thing Aladdin knew for sure: he needed to get out of here, and fast. Thankfully he’s not nearly as tall (yet) as Judar, or as built. It’s easy for him to slip out from underneath that arm and breathe a sigh of relief. He’s left utterly speechless, best make way for exit route one.

With zero intention of letting him slip away, Judar grabbed his wrist and tugged him back in close, “Geeze, if I’d known this was a surefire way to shut you up then maybe I’d have done it a long time ago!”  He teased, “No reaction?  I’m _hurt_ … I even complimented you; way to make a guy feel bad…” 

Aladdin on the other hand felt like he was in a nightmare. The moment his hand connects with his wrist, it sends a shiver down Aladdin’s spine he’s not quite sure he likes. He gives the grasp a light tug, testing to waters of just how screwed he is. As a deep breath is taken in, he gives it his best shot at pushing away those nervous feelings of embarrassment and it works.

_For the most part._

He turns to face him then, that ever present smile coming back to life. “I didn’t mean to shrug off your compliment, so _thank you_. Even if it is something that everyone _already knows._ ” The pause is brief, but allows Aladdin enough time to breathe and accept his fate.

Fingers intertwine with Judar’s under the suspicion that maybe if he turned the tables, he’d finally be left alone with a chance to think about what just happened in silence. “But next time, it’d be nice to have some warning when you do stuff like that. One second you’re mad at me, and the next you’re kissing me. It’s really _confusing_ , Judar.”

“I dunno… don’t you ever just do things just because you _feel_ like it?  Why’s there always gotta be some deep-rooted _reasoning_ behind everything?  I’m not the sort of person who plans or schemes like you and Hakuryuu do, I just do what I like in the moment.” 

“Hm? No, not really. Ugo always taught me to think about my actions before pulling through,” Though, it’s a nasty habit to be blunt, and in those times Aladdin finds himself going against his guardian’s teachings without even realizing it. The lines of his face turned solemn as he lets his eyes fall down to their hands, fingers mindlessly rearranging themselves against the others.

“Doing what you like in the moment isn’t a good idea, though. What if we end up getting in over your head or against someone you can’t defeat? It’d be better to think about your actions before you do them,” The pressure of his grip tightens as the last words are muttered, though Aladdin doesn’t really know why. “Otherwise you might get _hurt._ ”

“Maybe it’s not, but you know I’m going to have fun doing it… and if I go down, I’ll die enjoying myself is what I think,” He waves off the concern, “Sorry to say that just comes with the territory of hanging around me; you don’t gotta wear that worried look chibi,” Judar shrugs, “And can you talk?  Same goes for you, jumping from being pissed to invading my personal space just to _beg_ me to be friends… not to mention you were the one that opened the door and started this whole exchange,”

He’s strangely relaxed at the moment which doesn’t happen around Aladdin very often, but he knows that he’ll never be able to give a ‘warning’ like he wants… Did he stop to warn him when he punched him in the face?  Or dropped in out of the sky?  Never, not for anyone.

Judar’s unoccupied hand ruffles the other’s head, messing up his hair with a teasing grin, “I’m not dead yet, and as long as I’m not there’s still a lot more fun to come.”

Aladdin's not even going to react to the ruffle, choosing to give Judar a scowl instead. While he doesn’t necessarily _agree_ with the views he’s spewing, it’d be contradictory on his promises to not accept him for who he is. “…” He lets out a soft sigh, thinking for a moment. If he wants impulse in his life, then perhaps that’s just what he should give him.

Taking in a deep breath, he closest that gap between them and places a simple kiss onto the other’s cheek. His lips linger for more than a few seconds, but when they’re removed, everything comes with it. He’ll take a few steps back and into his own personal space. “Just… _don’t die_ just yet, alright?”

Judar stares, knowing Aladdin’s instincts are telling him to ‘guide’ the other magi which of course wouldn’t work and would probably anger the fallen all over again.  He doesn’t though and it’s surprising, a pleased smirk appearing on the older’s face. 

“Though I wouldn’t recommend making bets on it, I wouldn’t think on it _too_ much; after all since dying is just way too _boring_ ,” He snickers, but his smile is genuine before he also steps away to take his leave, “You too, living isn’t _half_ as fun without you around.”


	3. Chapter 3

"If hurting me is what makes you happy, then I'm only happy to indulge you."

He freezes when Aladdin says this, the memory of their fight in the rain haunting him.  It wasn’t supposed to turn out like this.  Truly Judar was far from perfect and he loved twisting and pushing other’s until they broke, cracking under his words or actions like the disposable trash they were… but Aladdin was _different_ : he had been ever since Solomon’s wisdom enlightened him to the empty feeling he could never place.

Hearing this from him made the fallen magi’s heart sink that maybe he had gone too far, pushed him away for his own comfort and to keep anything that could hurt him at arm’s length.  How many times had he angrily stated his hatred with Aladdin’s frustrating optimism and arrogance, resisting it with all his strength and battling tooth and nail to keep him from getting too close… as if it was the _one_ thing he could control when it came to the other’s life.

He could never force him… Judar always tried but that was the one person he couldn’t intimidate and it was frustrating yet freeing.  Someone who finally stood on even ground with him, so to see that distance be created between them again often made him lash out.

His hands reach out and grasp at the younger’s shoulders, biting his lip and wearing a look of dread, “That’s not why I do it.  It doesn’t make me…”  Struggling to make any sense, his grip tightens as he fights the lump in his throat and the part of him that hates reaching out for anything or acknowledging the problem.

“I’m just so fucking sure one of these days you’ll…” He breathes in, “ _give up_."

Give up thinking Judar could be any _more_ than who he was, prone to destruction and hatred; bound to keep fighting in a bloody glory and go down a monster.  He may have thought that now, but no one could endure it forever.  No one would stay in the long run, and he wasn’t sure if he could ever change or be anything better.

Aladdin’s eyes widened upon hearing this confession.  Never was there someone so capable of drawing out so many emotions in him - not like Judar. It amazes him just how quickly he finds himself shifting, from happy to upset, to excitement and finally the dark, consuming feeling of _sadness_ ; for himself, for the world, but most of all for Judar. Pity had been something he’d learned long ago, but this wasn’t that at all. True, he might have pitied the other magi in the past, even gone so far as to unintentionally look down on him, but this feeling, this dwelling of swirls and churns in the pit of his stomach was _not that._

It’s something far greater, far more complicated and Aladdin isn’t sure just how to describe it.

Just one look into Judar’s eyes is all it takes for his voice to catch among the walls of his throat. He looks so hurt, so… _vulnerable_ , it comes as a complete shock. There’s only one other time he’s seen such a face, and that alone had brought him to the assumptions he’d made tonight. Regret soon follows the sadness, making the very taste on his tongue bitter for even muttering those words but…he needed to get to the bottom of his.

He needed to know why he’d left, why he hadn’t even given him a second glance after their fight. The thought that it’d all been a dream had plagued him for days after his recovery, but each and every time he doubted, the ugly, brutal scar where steel met against flesh made sure he would never forget.

But this wasn’t what he’d expected in the least. To see such hurt and sorrow in the creases of Judar’s face nearly broke Aladdin’s heart, and although it’s upsetting to think he thought he’d just give up, Aladdin understood. Friendship was foreign to Judar, just as hatred was foreign to him, and from what he’d seen of his life, not many could take his personality for too long. It’s natural for a normal human being to give up, to say enough is enough and put their foot down, and while it pains him to think of that happening to the other magi time and time again, he knows it has.

The limbs that had so carefully been placed onto his shoulder resembled stone more than flesh now, and Aladdin goes to remove them. Instead he’ll let the warmth and light of his own envelop and _crack_ the cold exterior. Doubt and dread hung low in the atmosphere, but it’s nothing he hasn’t been able to fix before.

“You know, as long as we’ve known each other, I’ve never thought about giving up on you once. Even after that fight all those years ago, I still had _hope_ for you deep inside. I regret having to do what I did, but please don’t ever think it was because I wanted to,” Guilt is heavy in his voice for a moment, as eyes drop onto their conjoined hands. “When you left, that never changed. I hoped that you’d find something in another world to bring you peace and happiness without having to rely on destruction. But you came back, and then it made me realize that our destinies have always been intertwined, haven’t they? That maybe it wasn’t somewhere else you were supposed to find that happiness, but here. With _me_.  So I’ll _never_ give up on you, Judar. No matter how many times you may disappear, or push me away. I’ll never give up on you. Because even after all you’ve done, you’re still human and deserve to be just as happy as everyone else.”

That was the first time Judar had heard Aladdin say he _regretted_ anything.  Being thrown out of the atmosphere should have _killed him_ undoubtedly but by some strange interference he’d been able to return.  Maybe he would have gotten that regret the first time they met after his arrival in Kou but of course the fallen magi had only wanted to clear the tense atmosphere and bother the other: now there was no lightening the mood or escaping what he’d already admitted.

Somehow the thought that he hadn’t just been thrown out never to return was comforting, like the guilt Aladdin felt easing a piece of his conscience that was so certain he’d do it all over again if Judar lost control… maybe that wasn’t the case though. It wasn't too much of a stretch for him to have no desire to return to the Dark Continent if he tried to start another war... but at least now it may never have to come to that.

“I don’t know if there’s anything like that; capable of changing me.”  His voice was quiet and void of emotion, trying to keep it in check and not give away anything he couldn’t take back, “And who said I _wanted_ to be a normal human like everyone else… we’re _magi,_ chibi.  We’re different from them no matter how hard we try.”

It was probably an odd thing to say but it was also for that reason why he was so inexplicably drawn to Aladdin… because they were so similar yet entirely different and the fact that even the King’s they chose could never fully understand their purpose and responsibilities.

“You’re wrong, Judar. Just because we’re magi doesn’t mean we’re any different than everyone else,” It’s a lesson he’d been taught long ago by Alibaba, and one that would stick with him no matter what. The weight and hopes of two worlds fell onto Aladdin’s shoulder’s a long time ago, but yet the blond’s words had made sure he knew he was human just like the rest of the world. No matter how much power they would wield, or how advanced their techniques would become, the fact still remained: they were just as human as the rest of the world.

But, even Aladdin cannot deny that there’s social status to be had with their title, and although he prefers the role of friend more than magician of creation, he acknowledges the power it holds. Rough, callous fingers, ones that have turned billions of pages, had gotten dirty and held staff after staff in it for years, rub gently against the back of Judar’s hand in comfort. The more he focuses on the limbs, the easier it becomes to slip his fingers in between the spaces of Judar’s, molding around the knuckles of the back of his hand.

Judar frowned, changing tactics and trying to ignore the warmth that comes with the attempt at reassurance, “I don’t want to keep doing this, but sometimes I just can’t stop so I thought that me leaving would be… safer.  I thought I was doing the right thing.”  No that wasn’t true… Judar was only running away even if a part of him did feel like he could do this again, the rarity of genuine affection and trust was so _foreign_ to him he wasn’t even sure he could comprehend it or ever return it properly.

The fallen magi couldn’t look up, lump rising in his throat as he battled the urge to leave again or pretend like he didn’t care or this wasn’t happening.  That’s how he always handled it… it was the only thing he knew and the fact he never wanted to cause that problem again and feel so empty and guilty; assuming the only way to escape it was to avoid and forget. “You say all that shit about destiny but you know the color of my rukh, seeing it plain as day.  With that in mind, can you really still think that?  Like it’ll even be worth it?”

There it is. The words Aladdin had been trying to hear for years now. He doesn’t want to keep doing this. The picture everyone had painted of Judar had been so obscene and misunderstood, and he was just now getting to see it play out before his very eyes. Development, whether it was the simplest of actions, or the most dramatic of words, was healthy and left Aladdin shining bright with pride.

“The color of your rukh has nothing to do with whether I find you worthy of it or not. After all, black rukh isn’t necessarily bad. It’s the power that you use with it that makes your actions inexcusable and I think…” He smiles, gaze finally lifting off their conjoined hands and to the magi before him. “Well, I think you’re more than worthy of it, and definitely capable of bringing good into this world. You might have done a lot of bad things, and hurt a lot of people, but that doesn’t mean you’re a monster or incapable of redemption.  You see, you’ve had the power to change your destiny from the very beginning. Even with Al-Thamen, the power to live out your dreams and choose a different path than the one of chaos and destruction has always been inside of you. So please, let’s work towards it together. As friends. No more running, no more fighting…I’d really like to be your friend, _Judar!_ ”

It’s strange for Judar but there’s no urge to turn Aladdin away.  He _liked_ seeming untouchable and invincible, like he couldn’t be weak but the fact of the matter is he’d been fighting against being manipulated so hard that he’d forgotten that magi or not… he couldn’t bear being alone forever.  _No one_ could.

This didn’t mean he was fully convinced by everything he had to say: Magi were different from normal humans and would always live that way whether that was the huge power difference or their long/multiple lifetimes.  He’d figure that out sooner or later so it did Judar no good to push it.

Aladdin may have not been as against black rukh as before, but clearly he wasn’t acknowledging the fundamental difference between it and white rukh.  The fallen magi had always tried to defy fate and break it to his whims to change his destiny, knowing he would do it or die trying so that didn’t scare him or even fill him with worry… but _changing_ who he was would be entirely different.  Fate had screwed him over, but while he could openly hate that, he’d be stupid to hate himself.

It was clear Aladdin still had this goal for him, but he still didn’t care about bringing ‘good’ into the world or if he even wanted to be redeemed.  That was something that plagued Hakuryuu, not him.  He had no regrets for living each second in the moment… guilt still made no sense to him.

“I don’t care about all that redemption shit or becoming a nice person, but I don’t think I’d mind a destiny with you in it.”  He confesses, holding back from bringing negativity back into the conversation with his disagreement.  It was irritating to be seen as something of a wounded animal, and even now Judar knows the other is still _looking down on him_ like standing on dry land and pulling someone else up out of the water.  This bothers him, but he won’t ruin the moment.

He glances down at their hands, familiar reluctance tugging at his mind that he shoots down because he’s tired of running in circles.  “I still don’t like being labeled as a friend so knock that shit off, and I also don’t plan on making any promises I can’t keep so don’t get your hopes up or think this is some sort of awakening.  I’m just playing it by ear every day; just wait on that and stick around."

So much of this didn’t make an ounce of sense to him; it leaves Aladdin more confused than he wants to be. Eyes go wide at the confession though he still had his doubts about what the requirements were for that sort of thing, and for the first few minutes after he’s finished, there’s nothing but pure silence. Not even the sounds of the birds outside the room, nor the ambiance of life reaches the pair and it makes his head throb.

The need to run had only occurred once in his entire life, and now this would make a second. Every bit of what they’d become brought more and more confusion to the magi and left him with the irritating feelings of not understanding; of not knowing just what this was - just what Judar had become to him. He hates this feeling more than anything in the world. To not _know_ , to not understand the basic principles of human emotions beyond friendship or family…It tears away at his expression, and as eyes shut tightly to rid himself of the headache, teeth grit together.

This should make him _happy_ , he thinks. Judar saw a destiny with him, a future standing side by side as friends and colleagues but then he replays those confusing words over and over inside his head.

_‘I still don’t like being labeled as a friend’_

No matter how many times they run through his head, he doesn’t understand.  If he was so against friendship, then why say he wouldn’t mind a destiny _with him in it?_ For weeks he’s gone back and forth with these strange feelings that Aladdin doesn’t fully understand. Observing is one thing - he can do that all the time and never get bored. Humans had such interesting ways to explore and show their feelings and emotions - but experiencing it yourself was an entirely different story.

“Judar I…” The grip on his hand tightens, and it’s clear just how much this is bothering him by the amount of expression clear on his face. “I don’t get this. I don’t understand any of it and it’s driving me insane,” All that calm demeanor he’d held so tightly was unraveling as hands part and he’s taking a step back to get a better grasp on his emotions. “No matter how hard I try and understand this feeling, I just _can’t_. Every time I look at you I see myself at your side helping you defeat all these destinies that stand in our way, but at the same time it’s not like that at all!! I see more too, especially when I look at your face and there are urges I can’t…I don’t _understand_ it at all. Sometimes it feels like you’re still treating me like a child and I _don’t want that._ And then you say things like you just said and I don’t know what that means.”

He stared downwards in confusion, “I don’t know what any of this means…” A crack in his voice is all the warning Judar will get before his head shoots up to meet his, “Please!! Tell me what all of this means!! Why do I find myself seeing you different than Alibaba or Morgiana?? Why do I see myself standing at your side for the rest of my life and never being bored?? Help me understand, _please!!_ ”

Judar struggles with this sort of reaction; finding himself even more shocked than the first time he’d actually managed to make the younger magi legitimately angry.  Aladdin is hardly ever ‘confused’, in fact he’s so sure of himself that the fallen actually has to resist the urge to drag his ass off his cocky throne in the clouds thus that makes this entire situation all the more odd.  He sort of wants to laugh too about being so influential to the chibi being flustered about the feelings he values so much… but finally snagged on an abnormality?  And hilariously it’s Judar himself… and he’s getting a vague idea what’s got him all choked up.

Pushing him wouldn’t do any good, though maybe he could work a bit harder to spell it out… however, that took a lot of the fun out of it and it was a strange matter of pride that he had to make absolutely certain he wasn’t just misinterpreting things due to his own arrogance.  Well… maybe he could be a bit more clear…

“If you were just a kid or even just a magi but not actually you, I wouldn’t be half as interested.  You outta know by now that not everyone who cares about each other just call themselves friends, right?  I don’t want a friend.  I want _you_.”  Judar starts, a smile playing on the corners of his lips in amusement and he outstretches his arms, "Here’s what I want you do do…  _Act_ on it.  Don’t think.  Don’t wait.  Just do what you want to do _right now_.”

Impulse, had never been something Aladdin favored. Every move, every action he took had been thought out before hand, a testament to his desire to keep order in his life. And now…Judar was wanting him to do the exact opposite? To let what he wants take over instead of thinking and planning ahead of time was unthinkable yet…

The warmth of his eyes fade for a moment as they shut, allowing himself the tiniest bit of peace to think about just what he even wants to do. He’d been so agitated, so confused about this while ordeal the urge to run and hide like a frightened child comes first. It’s such a strange and foreign thought to a boy who’d faced the world without a single fear in his eye.

But…was that what _he wanted?_

The more he thinks about it, the farther those thoughts become. No, he wouldn’t run - this was something the two of them needed to finally work out, and Judar had delivered on his end. It was up to Aladdin to fulfill his end and stop overthinking.

Each second that passes by in silence drives him farther into his decision. All at once, he closes the distance that’d been drawn between them. The moment Judar is within his grasp both hands surge up to either of his cheeks. It feels far too strange to not think about his actions, but the soft feeling of warm flesh underneath the palm of his hand is more than enough to get him to forget.  There’s no hesitation in his actions, nor the slightest hint of regret hidden beneath azure eyes as what few inches between them are completely erased with a pressing of lips against Judar’s own.

It’s inexperienced and sloppy, but full of a passion Aladdin isn’t quite sure he’ll ever understand. Though they’ve kissed before, they’d been nothing more than soft pecks filled with teases and tension - a tribute to their very nature. But this?…This was so much _more._

Judar blinks, eyes fluttering shut when their lips met and he feels lighter than air like his mind went blank; all those minor annoyances and frustrations going up in smoke.  This time he knows it means something, all signs of doubt gone to confirm what he’d been hoping for. He’s no expert himself, but he’s smiling against the kiss as his arms wrap around the younger magi’s back to keep him close and tight against him, mouth molding against his and taking all he can get.

Most of the fallen magi's common sense told him nothing would come of his offer, it would just come with more questions or talking… but Aladdin didn’t even reply, at least not _that_ way. 

The kiss leaves Aladdin's his mind free, his hands capable of roaming against the skin of necks, arms, chests, and literally knocks every last ounce of breath from his lungs. He’s so unaware of everything that wasn’t the man so diligently pressed against him, that when the soft sound of Judar’s back against a wall rings through, it tears him away. Breathless and confused, he takes a step back and stares at the other with a look of pure bewilderment.

All he can do is stare, wide eyed and confused at just what he had done, completely incapable of figuring out what to do next.

In all honesty, Aladdin had no idea how to feel, nor how to even react. Affection wasn’t something foreign to him ( for even the smallest of kisses, hands pressed into the palms of another, or meaningful hugs had been a part of his life ever since he’d had the courage to become close with Ugo ), but _this_ was a completely different story. The way Judar’s lips had seemed to effortlessly fit against his own was so strange and left the magi with more questions than answers.

He’d acted, yes, and it’d probably done more harm than good. For now Aladdin couldn’t even figure out what him and Judar _were_ anymore.

When he breaks away, Judar’s smile remains, “See?  Not that complicated.” He leans back against the wall, hands lingering on the other’s hips with fingers drumming against them in content while his crimson eyes catch his, half-lidded and smug.  Maybe he’s taking this too casually or just enjoying the moment but he’s simply basking in the glow; satisfied.  “Now how’d _that_ feel?”

The sight before the younger magi is distracting, and moment eyes catch a glimpse of a bright, blinding smile, he can’t help but let his own slip. He looked so happy, so satisfied with what had conspired and knowing Aladdin had brought that filled him with a surge of pride. This was an image he’d wanted to see for years now, and only just now accomplished ( however temporary it may be ). It only takes a matter of seconds for one smile to be greeted with the warmth of another, as eyes shine with such pride and happiness he’s sure that it looked like the sun itself had been caught in the azure hues.

He doesn’t respond at first, incapable of thinking about just how the kiss had him feeling, and instead lets his lips find Judar’s once again for a soft, simple kiss that overflows and pours happiness with each second. When he does pull away, a soft sigh is given in exchange for an answer to something he can’t explain. “Your rukh are a lot _lighter_ like this,” It’s true - the fluttering energy all around the pair had turned a much lighter, almost rosy shade. Something he’d only seen once before, but never understood the emotion behind it.

With the mention of lighter rukh, Judar stiffens, not bothering to catch onto that fact before but now he frowns.  _Annoying_ … He’s only seen that ugly shade a few times before and it was always an unpleasant sight to encounter love-struck idiots.  He wills them back darker again, irritation settling in and masking the pink glow but it’s unable to take away from the embarrassed look on his face from being caught.  Damn, he liked the power behind being able to see the rukh and read whoever he was bothering, _less so_ if the tides were turned.

“Shut up…  tell anyone and you’re _dead meat_ , chibi.”  Back to the callous and rude magi everyone knew and loved, though admittedly much more blushy than most remembered.

Aladdin gives a teasing poke to his cheek. A symbol of dropping the intensity of their conversation for something more akin to the flow of white and black around them. “You should smile more like that, it makes me really _happy_ to see it!!”

Judar swipes at the poke halfheartedly, already picking up on Aladdin’s weird habit of doing it… why his cheeks though?  He won’t bother thinking about that.  “And that depends if there’s anything worth smiling about because most time there isn’t,” He huffed, “and you’d better be _serious_ about this cause if it’s just another lapse of judgment and the next day you tell me it doesn’t mean shit then I’m not going to be happy in the slightest.”

Did Aladdin understand that this wasn’t the sort of thing he took lightly?  Once the wheels started turning, there wouldn’t be any more walking on eggshells or messing around; he was in this for the long run.  If the other magi stayed clueless, Judar wouldn’t be held responsible for the hell that could come with it.  He wasn't about to give this up.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short little argument regarding what it means to be human to these two magi

"Stop talking about Alibaba that way," Aladdin's eyes narrowed, refusing to hear another word of his complaining about the blonde.

“Hey look, you didn’t have to deal with him for two straight years okay, at this point I might know him better than you even though I don’t _want_ to.”  Judar groaned.

“That’s my _best friend_ , Judar. I don’t care if he told you he hated you, which he wouldn’t, but show him some respect. He’s a lot incredible person and deserves that.”  The younger magi insisted.

“What’s the big deal…?  Why’s it matter that I talk about him like that?  It’s not like I tried to _kill him_ …”

“It matters because you’re treating him badly. How would you feel if someone talked about your candidates that way, let alone your friend?”  

“Then I just get rid of them, easy.”

Aladdin sighed, rubbing his forehead in distress, “That’s...not a normal reaction, Judar…Think of something other than killing. Like what I’m doing.”

“Arguing about it…?  Like that’ll always work?  Look what happens when you argue with Sinbad, does he look like a changed man?”  Now there was a point that couldn't be ignored.

“Uncle was far gone before I even talked to him, we both know that. He’d determined and no amount of words, even from me, was going to stop him from doing what he did. This isn’t about Sinbad though, and you know it. You love talking about yourself, so why stop now?”  Aladdin stated almost coldly.

It may have been childish but Judar wasn't willing to let that one slide, “So you think I’m so easily changed?  You really think that I ‘love talking about myself’?  Good to know your opinion of me.”

“…That’s not my opinion on you, and you know that. I never said I wanted to change you, just to help you see that what you’re saying is hurtful whether its about Alibaba, or Morgiana or even me. Words can do a lot to a person, and sometimes it’s needed to think before you speak.”

“But why would I.. I don’t owe them anything, why do ** _I_ ** have to restrain myself…”

“Is it not obvious? Because you’re _human_.”

“ _No_.. we’re different, they all die fast and we’re way stronger than they are… and I don’t _want_ to be human.”

“Just because we’re Magi doesn’t make up all that different. True, we’re stronger and live longer, but we were born human just like them. We’re chosen by the rukh, but without that we’re nothing more than humans, Judar. Please don’t insinuate that we’re some higher beings, in a rank of our own. It’s wrong.”

“I’m not that _weak_ anymore… I’ll spend the rest of my days fighting being forced into thinking I’m one of them or someone who has to obey others… I won’t let anyone use that weakness against me ever again.”  Not like before... not like when Gyokuen had used him.  He would never let that happen.

“Judar.” A hand goes to place itself over the other’s. “Being human is not a weakness. If it was, you and I both would be guilty of it. No matter how much you deny it, no matter how many times you think it’s not true, it is.  It’s that choice to not obey that makes you human. You’re taking your own fate and cursing it, but by doing so you’re showing emotions that make you more human than you could possibly imagine. ”

“You’re missing the fucking point chibi…. I can’t be human.. cause if I’m human I can’t do what I want, I’ll have to be someone _better_ and I can’t do that.”  He exhales and averts his eyes, not wanting to have this conversation in the slightest.

Admitting that means he’d have to _try_ to be more worthy, unable to just brush things off or blame other people for being too stupid to understand he was superior… Because if he applied himself by their standards, he knew he’d fall short every time.  Thinking he’s above them was the only way to _protect himself_ from them.

“No. That doesn’t mean that at all. You think it might, but it doesn’t,” For a moment, the grip tightens and then subsides completely. Instead there’s an embracing of fingers into the spaces of Judar’s and a soft smile up at the other magi. “All this time you’ve been afraid to be considered human, and for what? Over something that’s not even true. Just because you’re a human being doesn’t mean you can’t do what you want. It doesn’t mean you have to be better or anyone different than you already are.”

The small break between them is only broken by the shine of the sun bouncing into Aladdin’s eyes. “All you have to be is _you._ ”

“It does to me.. so I still don’t wanna be…” He insisted, though his voice sounded tired and he makes no motion to return the contact.  “Even if it’s not true… if I give it up, it feels like throwing away the best part of me.”

The things he was most proud of about himself was the fact he was a magi, that’s what gave him the confidence to do as he liked because he thought he _deserved_ it.  Being human meant acknowledging the emotions and flaws he had and accepting that people could judge him solely on that.  It was far from a pleasant thought.

His hand is left feeling empty and lacks the warmth of another, but that doesn’t stop Aladdin in the least. “Judar, look at me,” His free hand reaches and grabs the side of his face as he speaks, forcing the other to keep his gaze locked on his. The smile never fades, not even an inch, as the cold feeling of his cheek invades the warmth of his hand.

“You could never throw away the best part of you. Do you know why that is? It’s because it’s you? Not the notion that we’re some godly beings meant to rise above humans. If anything, it should humble us that we’re magi. We’ve been granted this power to help others and to forge our own paths as well as the help others forge their own. We’re human, just like they are. We feel the same things, we live like them, and we hurt just like them too. It’s because we are humans, and always have been. So you’re not throwing anything away, just... _accepting_.”

“Mmm?”  Judar mumbles, guided back up to Aladdin’s face though reluctantly. When he sees the other magi smile like that it makes his chest tighten like he wishes he could make absolutely certain to keep that light to himself and hide it far away from anyone who could ever take it from him.

“Still don’t like it… but maybe I’ll try.”  He shrugged, his arms shifting from their idle spot at his sides onto Aladdin’s back, leaning forward and resting his chin on the other’s shoulder.  “If you’re there, it’ll be easier…” 

Because Judar hardly felt more like himself around anyone else… like there was a better person in him that lie beneath his heartbeat that only the other magi could bring out.


	5. Chapter 5

"So you don't like it when I wanna keep you to myself like this?"  The fallen magi fumed at their latest argument that had come about from him being a tad bit controlling.

“Of course I do…just not the possessiveness? If I didn’t love your attention we wouldn’t be where we are today, Judar…”

“But cmon…. would you rather I just let gross people flirt with you… Think of it as wanting to protect you.”  He insisted.

“I appreciate the gesture but…I’m more than capable of protecting myself." Aladdin sighed and gave the other an innocent kiss on the cheek, "If you’re worried about people flirting with me, then try having some faith that I won’t act on it or just won't see it that way.”

“But what if some creep comes around saying they wanna be your friend and you get tricked into it kinda like the stupid king did; I got faith but you’re also pretty easy to get to… you’re too _open_. It's cause you can be dense that doesn’t make me wanna leave you to it.”

That thought surprised him, not expecting Judar to be bothered by that, “I never took you to be a worrier…I’ll be fine. I might be open, but that doesn’t mean I can’t tell when I’m not being lied to. Do you really think if Sinbad of all people couldn’t deceive me, anyone else can?  It was supposed to be comforting……not make things worse.”

“I know you admired that stupid king a lot back then..." He grumbled, "Isn’t it like… the more people you let in, the more you’re _exposed_ …?  Don’t you worry about getting hurt..?”

Judar hadn't meant it to be so personal but he had to ask the question and find out his reasons, even if he knew it would be something overly positive that the older of the two couldn't begin to understand, he still wanted to know.

“I knew what I was doing, even then. Uncle’s light was so strong that I felt like it’d overwhelm me eventually, and that wasn’t a good idea at all. Though in a way, I owe thanks to Miss Yam for helping me get to Magnostadt…" He paused, "…It could be perceived like that, I guess but the pros outweigh the cons to me. True, if you open yourself up to people it can lead to emotional trauma and being hurt but if you do the opposite you’ll never know the warmth and happiness associated with friendship and love. If you hadn’t opened yourself up to me, we’d still be rivals and is that really better than what we have now?”

“It’s _different_ because I’m pretty sure that if I’d been free to choose I would have ended up in Sindria and been changed like everyone else… I would have been drawn in and manipulated no matter where I went.  Guess I just don’t get how you’re always so sure about trusting.. that’s why I’m like this: I don’t want it to happen like that to me or you.”  Judar mumbled, immediately regretting such an open statement.

He never liked revealing that fact even if it was probably obvious in Balbadd how he’d demanded Sinbad be his… so many times since Solomon’s wisdom showed him his past he wondered what his life could have been like.  That’s when he saw it, standing by his King’s side in Sindria, happy and eager to be the best magi he could with hope in the person he’d chosen and the people he’d come to love.  However, seeing what Sinbad had done recently became a harsh slap in the face and that  _delusion_  wasn’t so pretty anymore… he’d be brainwashed and infatuated with this perfect world ideal… He would have been used just like everyone else at his side so maybe it did hurt to think no matter where he went, someone was always looking to control him.

For the first few minutes, all Aladdin does it listen intently to every worry, every concern that spills from Judar’s mouth. It’s rare to see him in such a state, and because of this, he can’t help but feel their bond strengthening. To let someone in and share their burdens and thoughts with you was a key moment in any sort of relationship, and it overwhelms the younger with happiness that he’s even getting this glimpse.

“Hey...” His voice is calm and collected as a single hand goes to mold itself against Judar’s cheek and drawing his eyes towards his face. “Nothing like that is ever going to happen, we’ll both make sure of that. Neither one of us ended up in the same mess, and besides…even if you had, I would have done everything in my power to help you go back,"

Granted it would have more than likely been a fight to the death between the two of them, and Aladdin would have had no choice but to stop Judar at all costs, there isn’t a doubt in his mind that he would have succeeded. Those few inches that separate them are closed, and with it grants a delightful kiss placed delicately onto Judar’s lips. “You don’t have to worry about that but I’m glad you shared it with me. Burdening yourself alone with your thoughts and worries is never a good thing.”

That assurance Aladdin gives calmed him even if it didn’t seem obvious.  Judar had certainly wondered if at one point the younger was the same and took on this role to reform him into a different person… but now he can’t ruin everything good that’s happened with this doubt.  “Would you _really_ do that... even if I was the same as before?  Even when I’d keep pushing you away?  I didn’t take you for a fucking masochist…”

He paused before a weary look seemed to reflect in his crimson eyes, “You say that but it’s way more dangerous to trust the wrong people with them, but I guess… this is better,”

“When have I ever given up on you?” Aladdin asked, granted there were times where he’d had that strange urge to knock some sense into the other magi, and even that awkward feeling of doubt that he wasn’t a lost cause, but Aladdin had never once thought of giving up on Judar. Or anyone for that matter. Whether people were self aware of it or not, a helping hand was sometimes needed in order to guide. Now whether it was down a darker or lighter path is the turning point, and something Aladdin doesn’t want to think about.

“You’re right. It is dangerous to trust the wrong people, but when it’s someone you care about and want to keep in your life, then it’s okay,” A single finger goes to poke his bare abdomen playfully. “Besides, maybe I am a bit of a masochist in this sense, but I don’t quit on people that need help, even when they push me away like you have. It just takes time and patience, and I have plenty of that.”

“You’re kinda _dumb_ that way… Someone’s gonna come along that’s not as _nice_ as me and eat you up, just wait.  Lucky I’ll be there to help you out.”  Judar sighs, reaching a hand around the other magi’s waist to pull him in, “Even if I don’t like you going through so much effort for _ingrates_ … if they take advantage of you too much, I’ll _kill_ them.”  The affection behind his words are lost on him, simply speaking his mind and annoyed at the thought of anyone besides him getting that special treatment.  It was hypocritical that he wanted to deny them the same chances he had, but Judar was nothing if not selfish.

“Judar no that’s not…” What’s the point in arguing about it now, especially when his thoughts are too focused on that contact of hip bones. He’ll breathe a sigh before resigning to his fate and give the other a moment of puffed out cheeks. “No killing _please_ …That’s…really unnecessary, but I appreciate the intention even if it is a little…misguided.”

Then again, he should have expected this from Judar, and with another sigh he’ll just reach up with his hands and place them both firmly against either side of his face, giving them a quick smoosh. “Say it with me, alright? Killing people is _bad_. Killing people _hurts_ others and makes your incredibly cute boyfriend upset. Got that?”

“ _Stop_ …”  Judar says this but a blush is already creeping onto the his own features, mouth twisting strangely from the face squish but somehow he can’t be too mad… well not when Aladdin’s being weirdly cute and immature.  Too often he gets the super serious moral debate so it’s easy to forget his physical age but in this circumstance it’s easier.  

“Does it really hurt though?  You can’t feel anything when you’re dead so it doesn’t matter… if anything I’m being merciful and ending their misery.  You can say it’s even more generous than maiming them,” He tries to reason, “Maybe you need thicker skin… or _try_ it sometime and see it’s no big deal!”

There’s a short laugh falling from Aladdin's lips at the reaction, and although Judar wants him to stop, he's going to do anything but. Especially with what he says next. It’s too unreal to even hear such things, but he supposes it’s something the other is fairly used to. Nothing wrong with showing him a different side to it though and perhaps acting cute while doing it.

“It doesn’t hurt them, silly, but the people around them that they care about. Just like you would be sad if I died, and vice versa. Does that make sense?” More squishing, and it’s hard to contain that smile lacing his expression with joy, “As for stopping….weelllllllll, _I don’t think so_.”

“No, your logic is dumb but I guess I’m used to that,” Judar scoffs, losing his patience for trying to explain and instead changing tactics and focusing on one small detail… Namely his hand grabbing the youngers chin and pulling it closer so he could kiss him.

“Oh yeah?  Well I’m not gonna stop this then till you do… hope you don’t need to _breathe_ …” He threatened, already invading the other magi’s mouth with his tongue, determined to make him give up and do what he says.

Aladdin thinks he honestly should have expected this. Really. With all the childish play, with all the tension he’d seen between people through the years…this should have been known. So why did it take him by utter surprise? There’s not much he can do expect let out a muffled scream of shock at the feel of his tongue and try to wiggle away.

Damn it. This was just supposed to be childish teasing not…well not this.

The moment he does manage to break free he’s taking those steps away from Judar and completely turning away. There’s a heat sprawling all over his face, and through the sheer embarrassment of Judar winning, Aladdin feels like his face is on _fire_. Both hands go to cover the entirety of his face before he even attempts to speak. “T-That’s not what I meant! _No fair!!_ ”

“Aw what… you don’t like that?  It’s not like that’s our _first time_ kissing…”  Maybe a bit suggestive on Judar's part though in terms of kissing they hadn't gone quite that far.  “That’s not even heavy yet chibi, when we get there and you can’t even handle this… it’s not gonna make for a fun time, so let’s hurry up and _practice_ ~”

Judar starts closing in again because it’s not fair at all Aladdin gets to come onto him yet he can’t do the same… even if the older is a bit more persistent and adventurous in that regard.  His hands close in on the other magi’s upper arms and he leans his head over his shoulder teasingly, “I thought you didn’t mind a little challenge... especially since you _confessed_ you’re my boyfriend,”

“???” Not what Aladdin wanted at all. Nope. He needed at least a couple more minutes to recuperate and gain that calm exterior he held but it looks like he gets none. The touch causes him to flinch, but Aladdin doesn’t even dare look at him in the face just yet. Instead he’s choosing to let his bangs fall over his face as much as they can, hiding the thick red hues with an equally thick curtain of blue.

That is until the confession is mentioned, throwing him completely off guard. Why’s he acting like this is such a big deal? He’d thought that it was obvious they were in that sort of relationship, yet here Judar was making it seem like they hadn’t been. “Wait – why do you sound surprised?? Are you not my boyfriend??”

“Well yeah but don’t change the subject…!”  The fallen magi frowned, circling around to be face to face again, “Besides, if you mean that then what’s the big deal?  It’s just a better kiss, not like I’m grabbing in between your legs and trying to fuck.” 

Okay maybe that was a bit explicit but Judar didn’t understand that after all they’d done and said to each other, this was suddenly a deal breaker… it almost felt like a form of rejection even if he wasn’t thinking things through all the way or understanding why it’d be an issue.  Still though, he’ll duck down to see his eyes and try to understand his expression though his own was clearly confused.

Aladdin decides to be childish. _Again_. Let’s just swerve his body around again, making it impossible for him to even get a glimpse of the crimson staining his cheeks since more and more seemed to pile on, and he just can’t seem to catch a break. Okay, okay…deep breaths in and out, that’s how you solve this dilemma and ease out of it scar free. With the slow regaining of the cool exterior, he finally turns to face Judar with a awkwardly strange look.

“But you did it so suddenly,” Oh, there it goes. The _voice crack_ of the century, and all work he’d put into willing that embarrassment away was for not. The beginning of his sentences are more like squeaks, and Aladdin despises it. “At least give me time to react properly before you start shoving things into my mouth…..”

“I guess I didn’t think you’d _dislike_ it that much….” Judar mumbled, letting Aladdin shift away from him this time.  Maybe he should have picked up on the nervous or embarrassed signs but apparently he’d read them _wrong_ in the first place and that’s why the other magi was annoyed with him for taking things so far.  “I figure you get to go kissing me all the time that it wouldn’t be that big a deal…”  Hell, Aladdin had seen him blush and no one ever got that honor… yet an open-mouthed kiss was too far a step to take quickly?  “I thought it’d be… nice… and fun, not really repulsive,”

Which was sorta like he _felt_ it was to him though he hardly understood that it was a tad oversensitive.  Then again, Judar was hardly a model of perfect social tenancies. 

Usually these sorts of reactions would be taken with a grain of salt to Aladdin. Judar hadn’t always been known to be too blunt about these sorts of feelings, and the younger had learned long ago not to take it too seriously. But…something in his tone tilted that perspective and made everything seem so…real.

Had he… _genuinely_ hurt Judar with this?

Aladdin can’t stop the flood of emotional distress that bubbles nor the guilty feeling that he’d hurt his boyfriend with such words. “I didn’t _dislike_ it…Judar…” A sigh was granted as he speaks, the warmth of his palms seeking the other magi’s but stop just short of actually touching his hands. No amount of hand holds or innocent kisses shared between them would mend and get across just what he’s trying to say. Aladdin knows what he has to do, and although he’d been embarrassed with Judar had done it so quickly, taking it slower at his own pace certainly would not. 

A deep breath in is all that comes between them before that distance is closed and his lips press against the other’s hard. If he wanted a deep kiss, then Aladdin would give him one without a moment of hesitation so long as it wasn’t as rapid as before. His arms find themselves wrapping and tightening around Judar’s neck, pulling him close enough to let the tip of his tongue graze over the parting before pulling away to catch a breath of air.

Judar flinched, not ready for the sudden shift in demeanor but far from unwelcoming of it.  His mouth opened unconsciously, trying to memorize the taste and soak in the warm feeling that surrounded him and wished it would never go away.  As usual the kiss was soft and careful though a bit closer to what he’d attempted earlier… he wondered how strange it was for him to try the more needy and aggressive affection the fallen magi preferred.  It felt nice of course because how could it  _not_  but guilt itched at him for making Aladdin feel like he had to step it up like this.  Maybe he had been a bit too pushy and pressured him…

“It’s not repulsive and I didn’t dislike it. I just…it was really sudden and I didn’t know how to react is all. So stop worrying,” Aladdin only pauses to give another kiss, this one much shorter than the last. “I like kissing you a lot more than I probably should.”

“I guess I forget sometimes you haven’t done this kinda thing before, so I’ll try… not to go too fast,” Judar answered, resting his forehead against Aladdin’s, “I just see what I want and gotta grab it like an impulse; never had to wait or worry about what anyone else thought.”

Patience was foreign to him, but all this opening up business despite it’s pain only seemed to make him sink deeper into the world that was consumed by Aladdin.  Judar wanted to be with him every chance he had and already knew he couldn’t back out now, so being engulfed in it was his only option. 

"Next time _I'm_ going to be the one who tries out different kinds of kissing."  Aladdin added light-heartedly, cupping the others cheek with a large smile.

"Pfff... in your dreams chibi, you'll be too busy trying to _catch up_ with me~"


End file.
